It Was Worth It
There was a season in my life when I was taking care of two toddlers, age three and two, a newborn, and a seven year old who thought she was seventeen. My husband was busy running his painting business during the day and attending meetings at the church in the evenings four days a week. During the busy season at work, which begins around February and ends around November, Slavic had to work late into the evenings to keep up with the demand. If he didn’t have a meeting in the evening, he would be working late. I was spending every minute of my life with the children, attending to their needs, and I was feeling drained. I became irritated and overly sensitive to the smallest problems. I concluded that if only my husband had more time for us, all my problems would be solved. Not only that, I felt that everything that was going wrong was because my husband was not giving us enough of his time. Several times during this season of my life, I came very close to asking my husband to walk away from ministry. If you have found yourself in a similar situation, this message is for you.
The story of Samson has so many lessons for us wives. It may sound strange at first, considering the fact that Samson was a man. You have to remember, though, that every man needs a helper. That’s where wives have been entering the seen from the very beginning. God has a purpose on his heart, He forms and chooses a man for that purpose, and He completes His work by giving the man a helper. God chose Samson to be a defender for his people. God placed a call on his life and instructed him to never cut his hair. His long hair was a sign of God’s covering and calling on Samson’s life. It was a covenant that God made with Samson. Every time Samson was surrounded by his enemies, the Spirit of God would come upon him, enabling him to single-handedly defeat large numbers of men.
Despite having the call of God on his life, Samson made many poor choices in his life. One of those choices eventually cost him his calling and his life. Samson fell in love with a woman named Delilah. His enemies came to her and offered to pay her for finding out the source of his strength. Samson did not reveal it to her until she spoke the words I found myself thinking so many times.
Judges 16:15 says, “Then she said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when your heart is not with me?”
It worked! Samson opened up to her and told her the true source of his strength.
He gave up his calling for the sake of the woman he loved. Once he gave up his calling, he lost his purpose (which was his strength) because the Lord departed from him. Next, his eyes were gouged out: he lost his vision, his direction in life. His enemies lead him away, they bound him, put him into prison, and made him grind grain for them.
Brothers, you have a calling on your life, a purpose specifically for you. Please, choose wisely whom you marry. Stay far away from Delilah. She will cause you to give up your calling. If you are married, and your wife is expressing these thoughts, you need to recognize where these thoughts are coming from. First, pray constantly for your wife and your marriage. Second, every chance you get, share with her what God is doing in your life. She needs to know how her sacrifices are advancing God’s purpose in your lives. Every time Slavic would share how someone’s life was impacted or how he was strengthened and encouraged to pursue God even more, I would be encouraged and strengthened. Also, open your home and have your meetings at home, whenever possible. This was especially encouraging to me because I got to listen in to the discussions and fervent prayers of the youth that would come to the meetings in our home and I didn’t have to stress over packing the kids, finding a babysitter, or rearranging the kids’ schedules.
Wives, resist thoughts of accusation against your husband, telling you your life would be better if he gave up his calling. I remember so clearly feeling like everything that was wrong or lacking in our family was only because Slavic was spending so much time in the ministry. One day, as I was taking care of the kids and cleaning the house while Slavic was at another meeting at the church, I was struggling with these thoughts. As I was thinking through my frustration, I remember crying out to God in my thoughts and just telling Him, “God, this is so hard, I have to give up so much. I want the youth to hear the gospel and be changed by an encounter with You, but this is just so hard.” I remember hearing God drop a few words into my heart, in that gentle, unmistakable voice of a loving father. I heard God tell me, “You don’t have to do this. You are free to walk away at any time.” I knew God gave me this opportunity to be a part of what He was doing. I thought of an athlete, waiting to be given the opportunity to compete for the sake of a trophy made by human hands. Think about these athletes who strive for these honors and recognition; do you think it’s easy to achieve those things? Can you imagine one of them turning down the opportunity to compete because it was just too hard? Thinking over this for some time, I knew I had only one choice. I wanted to be a part of Gods purpose for my life. I decided to not turn down the opportunity God had given me.
You might be wondering, what was the trick we came up with to make it easier or what was the secret to spending more time with each other. Here’s what we did: we just stayed faithful to our calling. It was hard. We got tired. But as I think back to those times, I am so full of joy over the fact that we stayed faithful. It was so worth it!
What we don’t realize so often is that there is no middle ground for those who have a calling on their life. You have to understand that your husband has a calling on his life and if he walks away from it, he will be grinding for the enemy. The sense of purpose he experiences when he is walking out his calling can never be replaced by anything else. He will chase everything the world has to offer with great intensity to fill that void, but never will.
Participating in ministry doesn’t make your husband perfect in a moment. He still has to grow in his spiritual maturity. Participating keeps him on the path of maturing into who he was created to be.
As a wife, you have tremendous amount of power over the direction your husband’s life takes. Consider again the story of Samson. He fought off a thousand men many times. Yet, it took one woman to capture him and cast him into darkness. Delilah discovered that the call of God on Samson’s life was his strength. As long as he remained in his calling, God supernaturally fought for him. Your husband’s calling is his strength, and God himself will fight for you. That covering extends to you and your children.
I encourage you to stay faithful to your calling and connected to the body of believers because only the church has a purpose that will outlast everything under the sun. Our husbands have to be plugged into a ministry, advancing the Kingdom of Heaven on the Earth. When they take part in a ministry, they begin to connect and surround themselves with people who are passionate about something that will have meaning beyond this temporary life. One day you will look back at those hard times, when you had to give up so much, and you will be glad you did because you will see that it was worth it!
