Freedom through Self-Control: The Power of Faithfulness

Faithfulness has been dominating my thoughts recently.  In the blog titled, “It Was Worth It”, which I posted in January of this year, I wrote about supporting my husband in staying faithful to the calling on his life.  I mentioned how his faithfulness to his calling in part is affected by my decisions.  I also pointed out how our entire family benefits from his faithfulness in every area of his life.  In this post, I would like to focus more on what role faithfulness plays in my character and personal development.

What does the society we live in say about faithfulness?  I don’t know about the values of the people where you live, but where I live, we don’t have to look far or search long to conclude that faithfulness is not esteemed much.  Consider the state of faithfulness in marriage, for example.  Hollywood celebrities glorify unfaithfulness, politicians justify it, and even religious leaders have been caught in it. 

What about faithfulness in areas other than marriage?  In the past, employees used to stay committed to their employers and were rewarded for their faithfulness.  Today, those who stay committed to one company for more than a few years are considered stagnant.  According to a software engineer I spoke to not long ago, he had to find new employment every few years to show the employer at your dream job that you are advancing your skill and broadening your expertise. 

How about staying committed to your church family?  Should I even go there?  It is humorous to even mention the “friending” and “unfriending” in the world of social media.  What happened to life-long friendships?  Does that even exist anymore, or do I sound like a dinosaur?

Before anyone gets offended and moves on to another blog, please let me insert my disclaimer here.  I am sure there are times when one must move on.   I am aware that there are substantial reasons in isolated situations that would require separation from a spouse, an employer, a church body, or a friendship.  I am not going to list all those situations here, however.

What I would like to discuss here is choosing to move on or end a commitment to someone or something because we spotted something more appealing, more extravagant and desirable, at the moment.  We can all explain away when we are the ones doing the walking away.  But have you been the one who was walked away from?  What width or depth of reasoning and explaining, what amount of justification, would make it right?

I can understand why the world disregards faithfulness, viewing humans as though they are like animals, moved by instinct.  To be honest, they are right.  Without knowing God and receiving His love for us, we are incapable of faithfulness.  We read in Galatians 5:19-21,

“Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

Think about it.  Is this a close description of the people you know or live among?  Do you recognize any of these behaviors in your own character?  I spotted a few that have manifested in mine, and I really don’t like it.  There is only one way to change that.

Galatians 5:22-23 goes on to list the fruit of the Spirit:

“But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”

Without the Spirit of God, we cannot produce the fruit of the Spirit.  I don’t know if there was any order or hierarchy followed in the listing of the fruit of the Spirit, but I noticed the list starts off with love.  You cannot claim to love someone, yet fail to be faithful.  There is no faithfulness without love and no love without faithfulness.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says,

“Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.” 

Love always perseveres, continues, and endures; love is faithful. 

Faithfulness is not the end of the process or list of the fruit of the Spirit, however.  The more I consider it, looking over my life, the more I am convinced that faithfulness is the process by which we develop self-control.

Faithfulness actually does a work within us!  The longer we stay faithful, the more faithfulness shapes us.  We develop endurance and a backbone as we stay committed through temptations and hardships, at times pressuring and at times enticing us to walk away. 

The longer I stay committed to my husband, the more hardships we overcome together, the stronger our marriage and the happier our children (and even grandchildren) will be.  The longer I stay committed to the ministry I have been entrusted, the stronger the team becomes, the more I value the relationships I develop with the people I serve alongside with and the more I am able to withstand the storms that come at me.  The longer I stay committed to the friendships I have, the greater my circle of friends, the less vulnerable I am to offenses and misunderstandings.  I come to a place where circumstances can no longer control me.  Neither am I led by my emotions or desires.  I have self-control.  When we have self-control, we live in freedom, no longer lead by instincts like animals. Living in freedom is possible only for those who have developed self-control. How can we develop self-control? I have yet to meet someone who has done it in a moment. Self-control is an ability that comes through a process of remaining faithful.

Slavic and I live by this principle.  There have been times when it was just too hard to maintain the schedule that we live by.  There have been seasons when we grew tired.   We had newborns (at one point a 14 month old and a newborn), we had financial struggles, devastation in business, misunderstandings between us, and facing the unknown in ministry.  We felt the pressure as well as the enticing to walk away.  When we didn’t understand or didn’t feel like remaining faithful, when we had plenty of reasons to walk away, by God’s empowering and enabling grace, we didn’t.  We remained faithful.  With over twenty years of ministry and over fifteen years of marriage, there is now no amount of pressuring and enticing that will steel our freedom from us.  That freedom comes through the process of choosing faithfulness, one day at a time. Faithfulness begins with love, does a work within us, and produces self-control.